


You Are My Greatest Adventure

by shirewalker



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Mild Smut, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Slow Burn, Smut, amazingly enough it is, and have to share a bed hmmmm, but alas! they get lost from their friends, maybe? this is not as explicit as usual so xD, post CK, there's dancing and jealous fits and observation of a king's body hehe, they go on an adventure!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 05:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirewalker/pseuds/shirewalker
Summary: Post-CK in which Nikolai invites Alina to go on an adventure and she says yes.After a vicious storm separated them from their friends, Alina must face her feelings for a certain hazel eyed king.





	You Are My Greatest Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> yes. this is a one-shot THAT long. get a nice seat, some snacks and you're good to go!

 

 

 

 

 

“So…” there was a pause, “What do you say?” he sounded nervous and hopeful, but mostly nervous. He was afraid of her answer. Of her no.

Alina bit the inside of her cheek. This was the point of no return.

No…

The point of no return had long passed. Hadn’t it? After all… she had told Mal to leave if her decisions had to be vetoed by him first. And in the end… He left.

She took a deep breath, then a long gulp of her coffee, eyes away from her visitor. Then, “I’ll go with you, Nikolai.”

 

* * *

 

Three weeks before her coffee with Nikolai, Alina had gotten a rather unexpected invitation from the king himself.

“There’s still so many Grisha lost and in hiding, Alina. This whole affair in Ketterdam showed me we need to go to them before others do. And…” Nikolai paused, a hand running through his blonde hair, his eyes slightly crazed with worry and fear, “And no one else will treat them as kindly as we will.” A cold chuckle left his lips and his eyes met hers, “Actually, no one will even treat them with anything remotely close to kindness. We need to… We have to help them.”

She shook her head, “And why do you need me to go? I’m not Grisha anymore. How will I help?” that life… that life was long gone now. She was where she should be. Where a simple otkazat’sya should be living out the rest of her days.

Something unreadable flashed in his expression, quickly veiled under his usual, and awfully unnerving, devilish half-smile, “There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side in such a mission, Alina.” He finished his drink before continuing, a defeated sigh on his lips, “But if your answer is no, then I understand.”

“I…” she hesitated. She wanted to say yes. To go on an adventure, to help, to feel useful in the way she felt when she was Sankta. But…

Nikolai nodded before getting to his feet and dusting his expensive outfit off of any invisible flecks of dust he might have sensed, “I’ll be back in three weeks, on my way to the mission. Take your time with your decision. I’m sure you need to think about it and…” his smile turned sour without him wanting to, “discuss it with Oretsev.”

Those words struck an unknown chord and in a blink Alina was on her feet, ready to demand them to be taken back. But Nikolai was faster than her and, before she could say a word, he was kissing her cheek.

“I’ll be back. I hope your make the right decision, Alina. Whatever it may be.” He stole an extra cookie, “This was nice. Wish we could do it more often.” And with that he was out the door and sailing through the afternoon sky in his small, private airship.

 

* * *

 

In the end there was no big decision to make. Mal half-heard her that night, only to start complaining about her spending too much time with the king. She had to repeat herself several times before he heard her properly, which seemed to only make matters worse. What was she thinking? She couldn’t just run off with a man that wasn’t him, her husband. Especially when the man in question was the king of Ravka, a man that had also been very vocal about wishing to marry her plenty of times. Was she mad? Running off with him on crazy adventures when she had no way to protect herself? She wasn’t thinking at all, was she?

What had started as a nice dinner, had quickly turned into what would be their very last argument. In that moment, Alina remembered this was her life and she was the only one to make the final decision regarding anything, so long it affected her. And staying put, like a perfect housewife, felt like a worse fate than running off on a dangerous adventure. Once she had thought living quietly in the orphanage with Mal was the dream, but in that moment… she realised she had only been trying to live someone else’s dream. And that her dream was something else entirely.

 

* * *

 

The night had started cold and dark. Moonless, the sky was only lit by the few stars that peeked through the heavy clouds that had been gathering since sunset. In the space of a few minutes, what had been a quiet and eventless night, had quickly turned into something else entirely.

Four teams had just started to board the smaller airships that would take them closer to the ground without being detected, when the storm hit them in a flash. Water poured down, raindrops that felt more like boulders than actual water, the wind pushed hard enough that no one was able to walk or stand safely. Those that would go into the mission barely had time to detach themselves from the main ship without crashing into it. Confusion reigned in the skies. Screams, thunder. If anyone was able to hear anything, it was just a loud rumble, no words, no orders.

 

* * *

 

Light burst to life from the heavens, quickly drawing a crooked line straight into the small ship’s only sail. The mast was cracked in two and the ship started to fall. In the span of half a second, they’d gone from safely running ahead of the storm to falling to their possible deaths.

“Hold on thight Alina!!” Nikolai screamed through the howling wind and the loud thunder above, “We’re going to crash!!”

Her hands were like hooks on the railing as she held on to dear life. She dared a look over the ship and sure enough, the forest below was in a rush to meet them. She closed her eyes and wished to all the saints, real and not real, that they could make it out of this alive. She would kill Nikolai if they didn’t.

 

* * *

 

Her head was cracked in two. She was sure of it. With ginger touches, Alina felt all of her skull, looking for the place where her brain would be spilling through, but a full exam told her there was nothing to worry about, except, maybe, branches and leaves that had nested in her hair.

With a groan, Alina sat up and looked around her.

The ship had crashed into a massive tree, its thick and old branches barely holding it up. And Alina. She was still tied to the ship, but luckily, she wasn’t hanging in the air. She had landed on a lower branch. She was safe, for now.

“Nikolai?” she called for the king after a full minute of nothing but the sounds of the thunderstorm.

A pained groan answered from above her.

“I’m here, sweet Alina… Are you all right?” Nikolai asked, somewhere within the remnants of the ship.

She rolled her eyes, “I’m fine. What about you?”

“Splendid. Ready for another go, actually.” Somehow she didn’t believe him. Perhaps it was the pained strain in his voice. Or maybe the bedraggled look he was fashioning as the king slowly got out of the ship and went to meet her.  She looked up once more.

Nikolai followed her eyes just as he landed by her side. A sad look crinkled his face, “We’re the only survivors. The other soldier fell overboard just before we crashed. And no…” he added, rubbing a hand all over his face. He looked older. Losing a soldier always hit him hard, “The fall was too high. There was no way he could have survived.” He started to untie the rope around her waist. A deep line settled between his eyebrows as he focused on his task, as if doing something as simple and mundane as untying a rope could help him gather his wits. And she could see and feel his wits were all scrambled all over the place. As were hers. Her heart still ran wild, begging her to leave.

Rain poured down on them, though at a slower rate as the thick leaves above them slowed it down. Alina sighed and held onto the tree, letting her heart know that soon she’d be away from this tree. “Good thing there were only three of us in it then…”

A bitter smile distorted his beautiful face, “Yes…” another moment passed as thunder boomed high above them and her heart clawed at her insides, “There. You’re free.” Nikolai said before he started to gather the rope and got ready to go back up. Just like that, her heart stopped.

She caught his wrist, “Are you going back?”

“Yes.”

“Why? It’s just seconds away from crashing down.”

For the first time in hours, Nikolai flashed that insufferable smile of his, “Why, my Alina… Are you worried about me?”

She rolled her eyes, already regretting her words, but before she could continue, Nikolai was climbing up.

“Don’t worry, it’s somewhat safe.” He threw her another rope, which he’d tied around the trunk, “Go down. I’m just going to see if there’s anything that can be salvaged.” And then he was gone.

A sigh of pure resignation left her lips. Of course. Why was she surprised? Nikolai was not one to play safe. Shaking her head and sending a prayer up his way, Alina started the slippery task of reaching the ground safe and sound. She eyed the distance. It was a long way and rain kept pouring down. It would be a slow way down.

 

* * *

 

She was soaking wet. Her bones were soaking wet. Even her very soul was soaking wet. And Nikolai had only salvaged a couple of bottles of water, some rope and a dagger. No coats nor capes. Nothing to protect them, even if just for a bit, from the harsh weather that kept raging over their heads.

“Now what?” she bit out, just a bit grateful they at least had some way to gather water to drink.

Nikolai shook his head, water droplets flying everywhere. His smile was starting to get on her nerves. “We walk.”

“Walk?”

“Yes!”

“To where?!” there was no light, there were no landmarks, there were no stars and there were no paths. Where would they go? And how?

He stopped for a moment, thinking hard about it. Alina’s focus wavered for a heartbeat as her eyes fell on the way Nikolai bit his lower lip. She had never noticed that. Nor the sudden urge to… help him out, somehow. Nikolai was speaking and looking at her and suddenly she realised she had gotten distracted.

“What?”

His smile seemed to know more about her momentary moment of weakness than she would have liked, “We go west. North was our goal, but to the west there are more chances of finding a place to stay, or even better, a village or a town to get supplies from.” He quickly explained before fishing a compass out of his pants. Of course he’d saved a compass. It was… well, good. But still, something only Nikolai would always keep on himself.

“But shouldn’t we go where the others might go?” There was a plan of a meeting point and she was certain it was north.

Nikolai shook his head, “If it was daytime, and the skies weren’t trying to murder us, that would be our plan. But we need to find shelter and we have no way of knowing where the others are. Right now, we fight for ourselves. Once we’re safe, we’ll go back to our original track.”

She wasn’t a big fan of this plan, but Nikolai was right. She nodded, “Lead the way, oh mighty tsar.”

The smirk Nikolai flashed her before turning away was enough to have her stomach flipping several times in surprise.

 

* * *

 

The door gave in under their combined effort. The loud creak it made had the two hesitating for a moment before entering the little hut. It sounded as if the house was about to fall apart, all it needed was one stronger gust of wind. But when nothing happened after a full minute of waiting under the pouring rain, Nikolai finally entered the shelter, with Alina in tow.

The air was dusty, its dry scent clashing with the humid weather outside. Alina felt around for some source of light and after a few curses under her breath, she found a few matches.

“I found a candle.” Nikolai said from the other side of the room.

“Great, let me just…” she fumbled with the matches, her wet hands and hair doing everything in their power to stay that way. After three futile attempts, Alina finally lit a match. Yellow light illuminated her hands and the small table where she’d found the matches as she turned to Nikolai, making sure to keep the small flame safe from any breath of air, or worse, a stray water drop.

“Careful…” the flame caught the wick of the candle with little effort and soon enough Nikolai was lighting up more candles.

Alina looked around. The hut was minuscule, just big enough for a small bed and one wooden armchair in one corner, a table and two chairs by the door and one tall armoire in another corner. Where they could look for something to dry themselves with… She grimaced. Alina really didn’t want to open that thing. Why, it could be holding anything! Or it could be empty too…

“Look, there’s some firewood in here… And it’s dry!” Nikolai called from the fireplace, his voice laced with more excitement than their current predicament deserved. “Did you find anything?” he asked while working on the firewood.

“Huh… Well, I haven’t seen yet…” she answered, gingerly approaching the armoire.

“Well, check it out. Maybe it has—”

“Yes, I know. Just…” she cut him off, gesturing to the fireplace, “See if you can get that to work.”

Nikolai flashed her a cryptic smile before nodding and finally focusing on his task. Her cheeks heated up in a flash at the sight of his smile and Alina lost her footing for a moment. This… This was getting out of hand. Shaking away those pesky thoughts, she steered herself into opening the old doors. Please no dead bodies. She closed her eyes and opened the armoire.

When no heavy thump met her feet, Alina peeked through an eye and almost cried in joy over the non-existence of hidden people, dead or alive. Inside there were just old and dusty blankets. Probably also mouldy, but she ignored that red flag for the moment. They needed to dry themselves before the water dripping off of them rotted the floor underneath their feet.

“Aha! We have fire!” the king whooped from his spot, “And blankets as well! We are saved!!” he cheered even more, his wide and toothy smile only comparable to that of a small child in possession of a gigantic chocolate cake. With an eye roll, she tossed a blanket at his face and laughed heartily when Nikolai’s face contorted in panicked surprise. “Oh, you’re a mean lady, my sweet Alina. A mean lady.” He picked up the blanket and inspected it. “Hum… It’s not bad. Dusty, yes. But at least it’s not mouldy. Nor does it have moths. It’s good enough.”

“There are a few more in there. We can pile them up on the floor and sleep on them.” She suggested. Sure, there was a bed, but the mattress looked far too yellow to be inviting. There was no way, no how, that she would sleep on it.

Nikolai nodded, not even looking at the ignored mattress, “Sounds good. Now… We should take off some of these layers and try to get as dry as possible, no?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but before any sound could be uttered, Nikolai was already undressing himself. In a matter of seconds, the young king was sporting nothing but his breeches. And Alina was sporting a blush so deep it would make ripe tomatoes jealous. Before Nikolai could take a look at her, she quickly turned around, “I’d appreciate it if you granted me some semblance of privacy while I do this. Please.” Her voice wavered a bit and she cursed herself. Her embarrassment was showing. She could only pray that Nikolai didn’t notice it.

“Of course, Alina. I’ll be here taking care of the fire. My eyes won’t leave its alluring golden flames.” At her disbelieving scoff, Nikolai added, “I promise.”

Quickly as she could, Alina started removing her own clothes. Having been in the army, she was used to undressing around other people. But suddenly, at the sight of Nikolai in nothing but his very wet breeches, she no longer felt that minimum sense of comfort. The sight of him left her far too self-aware and far too interested in observing his body with the utmost care. And she didn’t like that, at all. Because it forced her to deal with a certain truth she kept hidden far in the darkest corners of her heart.

 

* * *

 

The truth was this: Alina Starkov had been harbouring a growing crush on Nikolai Lantsov for a few weeks now. Months maybe. She wasn’t sure when she’d started paying him special attention, but she was sure… she had started to. Her eyes lingered on him, their conversations always lasting a little longer, her hands aching to touch him more and more.

Thunder rocked the little hut throughout the night, the small fire Nikolai had set up the only source of calm for Alina. It’s not that she was afraid of storms, she just wasn’t a fan of sleeping in a house that felt like it could come crashing down one them with a thunder just a little stronger.

She dared a look to her left.

There he was, the most powerful man in Ravka, currently sleeping on his belly, arms spread like a starfish and his mouth twisted in a peaceful smile. Nikolai Lantsov asleep looked nothing like the king everyone got to see and meet every day at court and meetings and whatnot. In fact, this Nikolai looked nothing like the Nikolais Alina had met ever since she saw him for the first time, through a sleepy haze.

She felt the corners of her lips tugging up at the sight. He looked adorable.

Her heart pounded against her ribcage the very second she thought those words. Saints damn her, again. Why was she acting like this? And why now? With more effort than she’d liked to, Alina tore her eyes away from the sleeping king and tried to fall asleep. A task that had proven fruitless for the past two hours. A mix of loud thunder, dread of a rotting hut and being alone with Nikolai kept fighting off sleep. She rubbed her face, willing some sleep into her body. This was ridiculous. She didn’t have feelings for Nikolai. He was her friend. One of her closest friends! In fact, he was probably the one that knew more about her than anyone else, not even Genya knew of certain darker secrets of hers. He was her friend. That was it.

Yet… It didn’t help her racing heart that Nikolai was her confident or that he could make her smile without any effort at all. Or that simply being around him was enough to undo any knots she’d been harbouring deep within herself. Her eyes wandered back to the king. The fact that he was very attractive didn’t help either.

He’d once joked about Alina’s immunity to his charm. Little did both know that she had been just too stressed to realise that she wasn’t, in fact, immune. Now, with everything gone, with every worry and danger long past, her apparent immunity began wilting away. Giving place to an utterly embarrassing and growing attraction to Nikolai.

The earth seemed ready to shatter into pieces as a new and wilder thunder crashed around them.

Nikolai jolted awake, his sleepy eyes quickly assessing if there was any imminent danger. Before his eyes fell on her, Alina had just a second to pretend to have been just as deep asleep as he’d been. “Are you all right?” he asked.

She rubbed her eyes, “Yeah, just startled with the storm.”

Nikolai nodded, “Yeah, me too.” He paused, turning his attention to the fire, “Better stir this a bit to make sure we don’t freeze before morning. This hut is begging to fall apart…” he muttered while awkwardly climbing out of his make-shift bed to work on the fire.

She eyed him for a moment before deciding to force herself to sleep. She was tired. She needed to rest. And she would rest, no matter what. No storms and no kings would stop her.

 

* * *

 

“Ahh!! Civilization at last!” Nikolai announced as they crossed the hill, the deep forest behind them. A small town was located just at the end of the road and carts and people came and went through its streets.

“Finally…” she sighed in relief, “Not to sound like Genya, but I really need a bath.”

Nikolai looked at her with a devilish smirk playing on his lips, “So normally you don’t take baths? Only on big and dangerous adventures?”

She groaned and pushed him hard, “Don’t be an ass. You know very well what I mean, you idiot.” Nikolai didn’t even miss a beat before laughter bubbled out of him. It was a sound that always took Alina by surprise. It was light and vibrant and reckless, somehow. It always reminded her of a carefree child. It made her want to laugh with him.

Ignoring the butterflies that came to life at the sound of his laughter, she took off in the town’s direction, “Come on, hurry up!” she called over her shoulder, not even bothering to look back.

 

* * *

 

As they drew near the town outskirts, they noticed something about the place. Ribbons and colourful flags were hanging everywhere. Paper flowers decorated doors and carts and the kids ran around in colourful and new-looking outfits, as if fresh off the seamstresses’ hands.

“Party?” Nikolai suggested.

Alina shrugged, but she couldn’t help but follow the same train of thought. Unless this was a fancy small town, the chances of a party of some kind being undergoing were very high.

A tall woman got out of a house and started hanging clothes to dry. These, unlike what everyone seemed to be favouring at the moment, were white and grey and black. They looked like work clothes, worn out after being used for work, day after day. Nikolai pointed her way and the two walked up to the woman.

“Good afternoon, madam.” He greeted, flashing his best and nicest smile. Right now he looked and sounded like a sweet farm boy, just lost in his way. Alina wasn’t sure if she should roll her eyes at his newest role or call him out for creeping her out.

The woman looked for them between two sets of black pants and smiled when she saw them, “Hello! Good afternoon! What can I do for you?”

Nikolai stepped closer and offered his hand for a second before he spared it a sad look and tried to wipe it on his pants, “Sorry to bother you, madam, and for not greeting you properly, but we were crossing the forest and got lost and then…” he looked down his dirty outfit and back to the forest as an explanation.

A knowing smile grew on the woman’s face, “The storm. It was rather nasty, you must have caught the worst of it.”

He nodded, “True. It was terrifying.” He paused, “Would you mind directing us to where we could get new supplies? Clothes and food, perhaps a couple of hunting weapons, since I lost mine.”

The woman smiled and then, to Alina’s surprise, she shook her head vigorously, “I’m afraid today you’ll find everything closed.”

“Why?” she asked.

“It’s the town’s anniversary. Everyone closed after lunch and now we’re all getting ready for celebrations. Which will start at sunset.” She pointed at her laundry, “I’m just finishing up my chores.”

“Well,” Nikolai started, “Is there anyone that can help us? We really need to get back on track.”

Once more, the woman shook her head, “I’m afraid you really have to wait for tomorrow.”

“All right…” he nodded, “Is there an inn where we can stay?”

“Yes, right by the town square. But it might be full, we always have a lot of people visiting for the celebrations.” She hanged a shirt that had long forgotten its original shade of white, “But do ask, I’m sure they’ll have a room for such a nice young couple like you two.”

Couple? Alina furrowed her brows and started to speak, “Wait we’re not—”

A hand fell on hers, Nikolai was holding her back, “We’re not exactly looking like potential clients.” He said, drowning out her complaints.

The woman looked at Alina for a moment longer before she turned back to her work, “I’m sure that if you explain the reason behind your appearance it’ll be fine.” She hanged her last shirt and dusted off her hands, “But if you need fresh clothes, that I can help with.” With a hand, she motioned for them to follow her back into the house, “I’m not the seamstress, but I make a lot of clothes for myself and my husband. I’m sure we can arrange something.”

They were now in a small room that had piles and piles of clean laundry on every surface. The room smelled of freshly washed clothing and Alina instantly felt better. The woman opened a chest and dug around for some pieces, “Because of the holiday, I always end up doing extra laundry for a few of my neighbours. For a fair price of course.” She said and flashed them a conspiratory wink. Nikolai smiled back, as conspiratory as the lady, and searched for a few coins within his paints. After a few more moments of silence, she finally closed her chest and walked back to them, “Here,” she handed a small pile of clothes, “These will do fine for the two of you.” Nikolai motioned to give her the money but she waved her hands and refused to take it, “I said I got paid for the laundry, but you can’t expect me to accept money from two lost kids like you. Consider it a gift.”

“Thank you.” Alina said as Nikolai retreated back through the door, “You’re very kind.”

The woman brushed off the comment, “It’s the least I can do. Once I and my husband also got lost in one of our little escapades and it was nice when people offered help without asking anything in return.” A cryptic smile curved her lips as her eyes wandered to Nikolai, who was whistling off-tune right outside the door, the pile of clean clothes in his arms, “And you two remind me so much of us when we were younger…” She added softly. It felt like she wasn’t talking with Alina anymore so she quickly said another thanks and left the house, making her best to ignore the woman’s final words. They did not look like an actual couple, did they?

 

* * *

 

Just as predicted by the older woman, the local inn only had one room left available, and it was a couple bedroom. Alina wanted the ground to swallow her whole. This was just what her confused mind and heart needed, to sleep in the same bed as Nikolai. Perfect.

“The nice man said the bathroom has warm water.” Her companion said as he dropped the clean clothes and towels on the bed. He pointed to the only other door in the small room, “Through there, I’d wager.”

Alina hesitated by the bed. She was really desperate for a bath, a really long one, but she didn’t want to be rude. “Who goes first?” she asked, doing her best to ignore the bed’s width. It wasn’t a bed large enough for two friends to share, it was a bed perfect for a real and loving couple. She bit her lip and looked away, focusing on the rest of the room. There was a small table set with two chairs right under a window that opened into the main square. By the corner was a simple desk with another chair and some pieces of paper and a handful of freshly plucked flowers. The room was small yes, but it was decorated to be cosy. Cosy and perfect for a private getaway.

A chuckle left Nikolai’s lips, startling her and drawing her attention back to him, “You of course. I’ll be downstairs getting that meal that comes with the room. Well,” he shrugged off his coat and dropped his things on the desk, “One of the meals.” He pointed at the bathroom again, “Go. Take that bath, I know how much you’re craving for it.” Then he left the room with a wink and a smile, leaving Alina behind with a rushing heart and a blush as red as a tomato.

 

* * *

 

Her body unwound the second she stepped into the bathtub, the warm water undoing all knots and twists in her muscles and driving her mind into a state of relaxation. A satisfied sigh left her parted lips as she savoured the warmth that enveloped her body, then she took a deep breath and dived in, the water swallowing her whole.

When she surfaced, Alina searched for the soap and began washing herself, rubbing with intent all of her skin. Relaxed and unguarded, her treacherous heart wandered back to the man that was still downstairs. Tonight would be a tough challenge for her. Before, she had distance on her side, but now… she did not. And to be quite honest, Alina didn’t really think she’d be able to keep her hands to herself when sharing a bed with Nikolai.

She bit her lip hard. Of course she wouldn’t do anything crazy! But… she might allow herself some freedom with him. Maybe an accidental touch on his hands, a soft brush of her fingers through his hair as he slept or maybe even… letting her head rest on his chest…

“Oh, Alina… get a grip!” she chastised herself. What was happening to her and when had she gotten herself so lost in Nikolai? She shook her head, as if the gesture would chase away her daydreams, innocent and not so innocent ones, and focused on finishing her bath. She needed to hurry if she wanted to be done before his return. And… oh saints… Her eyes searched the room once, twice, thrice, before she realised her little big mistake.

She’d forgotten her clean clothes on the bed. Towels? Sure, she’d brought those. But the clothes? Not a chance.

Alina almost drowned herself just to avoid the possible embarrassing encounter. No! There would be no such thing. She was finished now so all she needed was to quickly dry herself, wrap the towel tightly around her body and quickly snatch her clean clothes before Nikolai even stepped foot within the room. She could do it. She’d wiped out the Fold, hadn’t she? This would be a piece of cake.

Or not.

Hazel eyes found hers just as her hand fell on her clothes, the other one still holding her towel. But the towel was loose and she knew there was more to see than she had wanted. Nikolai had just stepped inside with a tray of food the second Alina had stepped out of the bathroom. Before he could say anything, she darted back to the bathroom, forgetting her clothes in the process. When she realised her mistake, Alina found herself actually wishing the ground to swallow.

Banging her head against the door, she braced herself for the moments that would follow her words, “Nikolai?”

“Yes, Alina?” oh saints damn him to hell, she could hear the smile in his voice. He could be so insufferable.

“Please…” she said through gritted teeth, momentarily torn between wanting to kiss him and… kill him, “Hand me my clothes.”

“Of course.”

“And please…”

“Yes?”

“Stop smiling, you big idiot.”

A knock on the door, “Who said I’m smiling? Here are your things.” He said.

She rolled her eyes, “I can hear it in your voice, Nikolai.” Then, quick as light itself, she snatched the clean clothes off his hands and locked the door behind her. Nikolai’s chuckles brought a new shade of red to her cheeks and she pondered hard if regicide would be a good way to go.

In the end she figured she cared too much for her friend to even lock him out of a good bath.

 

* * *

 

Signs of celebrations were everywhere around town. Colourful and scented candles littered open windows, ribbons of all shades the human eye could see flowed from every handle and every braid and every wrist and every post. The scent of freshly made food goaded the hungry into the arms of the food booths and drinks were offered like free candy. Light and vibrant music was played from the middle of the square and couples of all ages and origins danced to their hearts content.

Nikolai nudged her shoulder, “Aren’t you glad you came? Look at all of this!” he gestured to the party and took a sip of his drink. Alina eyed him for a brief second before shrugging silently. It’s not that it wasn’t nice, she just didn’t feel exactly ‘glad’ to be out in a party when their friends could very well be in danger. “Stop that.” He said after a while.

She frowned, “Stop what?”

His smile told her enough but he still spoke, “Worrying too much. They’re fine. And even if they’re not as fine as we are, there’s nothing we can do without proper rest and some semblance of supplies. Which,” he finished his drink and set the glass aside, “we won’t be getting until the morning. Until then…” her eyes fell on his outstretched hand.

An offer.

He was asking her to dance.

The pounding of her heart told her to say yes, but the quick fire that climbed up her neck and right to her cheeks told her to say no. Alina would rather die than proving Nikolai that he did have some effect on her.

She shook her head, “Not in the mood.”

His hand remained open, “Come now, Alina. How are we supposed to prove we’re a couple if they don’t see us dancing?” Right, because by now all town knew of the lost young couple. Engaged to be married couple. Alina found it hard to believe only that lady had been able to make sure all town knew about them. Somehow, it felt like Nikolai had some play in it. Yet… she also found it a bit too much for the king to go to such lengths only to dance with her. He wasn’t that dramatic, was he?

Hazel eyes pierced her. Begging and yearning and simply devastatingly beautiful to look at. She knew that even before she glanced his way. And she knew the second she locked eyes with Nikolai she would end up saying yes.

And still she looked.

The words came out through gritted teeth, all she could do to hold back her thundering heart, “One. Dance.”

His smile did nothing to help.

 

* * *

 

They’d danced. They’d whispered in each other’s ears. They had shown the townspeople they really were a love-struck couple. So why exactly was Nikolai constantly being driven back to the dancing area by all the single ones?

The sight of him in someone else’s arms made Alina angrier than ever. It took her by surprise how strongly she felt such emotion. There was a fire in the pit of her stomach and it craved to burn down everything whenever a young and flirty one tried to catch Nikolai’s attention. This was getting too much and Alina didn’t know what to do.

On one hand… she’d have to admit even to herself that she had feelings for her friend. Meaning, she’d have to do something crazy.

On the other… she could keep everything a secret, even from herself, but she’d have to watch him dance with everyone but her.

Alina Starkov wasn’t one to make smart decisions whenever it came to Nikolai Lantsov. And tonight wouldn’t be the first time.

Something crazy.

“Excuse me, but when can I have my fiancé back?” she tapped on a young woman’s shoulder and forced her to step away, using her nicest and deadliest smile. The glimmer of fear in the woman’s eyes told Alina this would be easier than expected.

“I’m sorry, we were just dancing.” The woman said, stealing a glance from Nikolai.

Alina did another crazy thing. She put a hand on Nikolai’s arm and pulled him closer, “Truly? I was under the impression those slow glances of yours were trying to steer him away from me.” The shock in the other woman’s eyes was proof enough, “How about you go away and leave us alone?” she smiled, sure that this one would be even deadlier than the previous. The woman huffed in disgust and strolled away, looking for another dance partner.

“My, my… Jealous?” Nikolai’s hot breath on her skin was enough to draw a startled shriek out of her. His smirk was infuriating. It was proud, as if he’d finally gotten that reward he’d been searching for his whole life. And Alina had given it to him on a silver platter. She wanted to kick herself.

“Shut up.” She hissed, “We should go to bed.” His smile grew wider and wolfish, “To sleep!” she added before grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the crowd.

 

* * *

 

By the time they’d reached the door to their room, Alina had had plenty of time to regret letting her jealousy get the best of her. Nikolai would never let this go. He would never—

“So, care to explain what happened?” his tone was nonchalant, as if he was asking about the weather.

“What exactly?” she shot back in the same tone.

Nikolai’s hand grazed hers for a moment, and then it was gone, “You, threatening that nice lady.”

She tried to ignore him and get inside, but to her dismay, the key was in Nikolai’s pocket. She turned to him, keeping her eyes closed as long as possible, “Key?”

There it was again, his touch. Soft, light, brief. This time, on her cheek, shooing away stray strands of hair. “Alina…” he started, but then stopped and handed her the key. “There you go.”

She took it and unlocked the door.

“Alina?” confusion laced his voice. She hadn’t opened the door, in fact, she hadn’t even moved since turning the key. Her breathing was uneven, her heart was a runaway train, hammering faster and faster and faster and saints! She’d just glanced at Nikolai, for once brief heartbeat! Yet, the look of yearning had been evident enough to be captured in such a short moment. And to damn her.

“You know what?” she turned with fire in her tongue. Nikolai startled with the sudden movement, “You are such a prick! You let everyone think we’re engaged and all lovey-dovey and probably even helped spread the rumours!” she poked him every two words, taking utter satisfaction in his look of surprise, “But then you let every single woman in town take you for a spin!” she poked him harder, letting that fire run free, “How do you think that makes me feel, Nikolai?!” her hiss turned into a whispered shout, the sound louder than she’d wanted, quickly making her clamp down her mouth.

Nikolai stood there for a moment, mouth hanging open, eyes wide. Then, something sparked in those very same eyes, the golden specks shining anew, and he smiled. It wasn’t as much of that insufferable smile of his as it was a victorious smile. As if he’d finally found that thing he’d been looking for his whole life. It was the second time he’d flashed that smile and still Alina didn’t know what to do with that look.

After a moment that seemed to stretch for ages, Nikolai spoke, his words coming out in a breath, “You _are_ jealous.”

Her heart fell, “No, I’m not.” She said and quickly added with a shrug, “I just don’t want you to go acting like you’re single and ready to mingle right after spreading the word that we’re engaged.” Yes, that was true enough. She almost gave herself a congratulatory pat on the back for that answer.

But Nikolai didn’t seem to believe it. He took a step towards her. Alina took a step back, her breath caught in her throat. What was he doing?

Nikolai tilted his head to the side, blonde locks falling to his eyes, their colour like pure gold under the candle lights. Alina felt a sudden urge to put the hair back in its place, to pass her fingers through the thick and most likely silky hair. To never stop doing it, not until all stars had burned out. And even then…

“Fair enough.” He said, after Alina started to list all the things she would like to do just with his hair. “But…” her heart skipped a beat, “Are you certain that’s all you want?” he lifted a hand and stroked her cheek with his knuckles. The worn gloves felt warm against her skin, their silky texture long gone after days in the forest. His eyes followed his hand and time seemed to stretch. A breath, “You want to hear something funny?” his voice was low, a rasp, like the king was fighting to contain something inside. She nodded, to her own surprise. His smile gained a rueful edge, “I still think about that night by the lake every now and then.” He brushed his thumb in the wake of his knuckles and Alina’s eyes fluttered for a moment, “And the night at the Spinning Wheel.” He added as an afterthought.

Alina’s heart seemed uncertain about what to do. To skip as many beats as it was possible without dying or to beat faster and faster until there was no time, nothing between each heartbeat? She knew his next words wouldn’t help her case at all, yet she found herself waiting, waiting, waiting. Hoping.

He was closer now and his hand remained there, cupping her cheek like it was the most precious thing he’d ever held in his life. Finally, his gaze met hers. The world seemed to melt to nothing as Alina took in the ocean of emotions that came to life in his eyes. Nikolai caressed her cheek again, before taking a shaky breath, “I still want to kiss you, Alina.”

Oh.

Oh.

Time ceased.

And her heart… Her heart had lost all control over itself. It was a drum, beating hard against her bones, dying to break free. It was the calm before the storm, that moment of quietness and peace that seemed to hang in between seconds. It… It wanted something. Someone.

Nikolai.

Oh.

Alina’s lips parted with that moment of clarity. Or maybe with his confession. Perhaps both. Nikolai’s eyes fell on her mouth and in the seconds that followed, Alina could see his control falling to pieces, just like her heart’s had just a moment before. He wanted her, badly.

Saints, how had she not seen it before? That shine in his eyes. Whenever he looked at her, there it was. It had always been there, she had just been too blind to notice it. She had just not been looking for it. But now? Now it was there, in full bloom, plain for all to see.

He kissed her.

No.

_She_ kissed him.

Her hands were tightly wrapped in his hair, pulling him into her, closer, closer, closer. The kiss was feverish, hungry, starving. It was fire, wild and running rampant through the woods, burning, burning, burning. It was starvation, as if this kiss could end any and all human needs for food or water. It was desire and something else, something that had been dormant, sleeping through the seasons, waiting for its time. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Nikolai pushed her against the door, his hands holding her close to him, running up and down her body, trying desperately to find a place to stay. Her mouth parted and she teased him with her tongue and saints! The sound he made deep in his throat was enough to make her knees go weak.

She gasped for air. The wrong one.

Nikolai was trailing his mouth down her throat, planting kisses everywhere, sending her whole body into a state of turmoil. The night air was cool where the ghosts of his kisses lingered as Nikolai kept on kissing her and holding her and kissing her. With her name on his lips, it almost felt as if he just couldn’t believe this was happening, as if saying her name over and over again would somehow make it more real. Permanent.

He kissed the spot where her pulse ran rampant and a moan climbed up her throat and out of her lips. Alina tightened her hold on his hair and called his name and before long Nikolai’s mouth was on hers once more and all felt right again. His lips were perfect and they matched her perfectly and his kisses were inebriating and made her drunk and, and, and! Alina was dizzy, so dizzy. It had been so long since a kiss had made her feel like this, too long. Her brain was haywire, unable to form any thought that didn’t revolve around this. This kiss, this moment, this.

And then, just before her heart could explode with emotion, the kiss was over.

Silence covered the hallway, only interrupted by the laboured breathing that came from the two of them. Somewhere in the distance music kept on playing and people kept on laughing and singing, the crowd completely oblivious to the state of the two people barely standing in the inn’s darkened corridor.

Nikolai pressed his forehead against Alina’s and nuzzled his nose on hers for a moment. She could feel happiness buzzing through him, long before opening her eyes and seeing his lips twisted in a smile that could rival the sunlight itself.

“That was… Woah…” he breathed. A wicked smile stretched on her lips. The witty king, always with a smart remark on the tip of his tongue, he had been rendered… speechless. What a sight to behold. Or rather… to hold.

She wrapped her arms righter around him and allowed a chuckle to escape her, “I agree.” She finally said. Nikolai’s erratic breathing was interrupted by a chuckle of his own and then he was kissing her again. This time it wasn’t pent up passion and that something more. This time… This time it was soft and light and tender. He kissed her again. And again. And again. Soft, tender kisses, spread between erratic heartbeats and gasped breaths.

“Alina…” he said, kissing her again, “Alina…” and another kiss.

“Yes.” She said, not really caring about what he wanted to say, just… just about what she wanted him to understand. Nikolai’s kisses paused briefly, just enough for him to look her in the eye and for understanding to dawn on him. When his face lit up with understanding, Alina turned the handle on the door and retreated into the room, her hands pulling him in.

Doubt lingered in the corner of Nikolai’s eyes as he shut the door behind him. He wasn’t sure. Not… not about himself, about her. Alina nodded silently before letting his hand go just long enough to take her coat off and letting it fall to the ground with a low thump. Then she pulled him down and pressed her lips to his, savouring that salty taste that seemed to be something of his own. Nikolai’s doubt started to crumble under her kisses; she felt it in the way he answered her movements and in the way tension faded away with every breath. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and she yanked it up over his head, taking in tow his undershirt and leaving behind a tangled mess of golden hair and an uncertain grin that seemed to waver every half second.

Her eyes fell on his chest and her heart sank a bit. The skin, otherwise perfect, it was all puckered in a crisscrossed nonsensical map of scarred tissue that covered a large part of his chest. Nikolai’s uneven breathing made the lines shine under the candle light and Alina wished in that moment that she could just kiss it all away.

She took a step forward, her hand outstretched to him, and touched the skin. A shudder went through his whole body, tension coiling again in all his muscles. It pained her to see Nikolai like this, so much, so very much.

Alina spread her hands over him, slowly moving up his chest and over his shoulders. She leaned in and kissed the skin, achingly slow and tender. Nikolai made a sound in the back of his throat and she kissed him again, her fingers never really still. That soft sound again. Another kiss. And another. And another. Alina kissed his chest with tender kisses that held as much power as wishes made on falling stars and just as much will. She kissed and kissed, wishing she could really kiss it all away. The scars, the pain, the memories, the nightmares.

“Alina…” her name came in a shuddered breath as her lips climbed up his body and her hands moved down his arms, blindly exploring the skin and the toned muscles under it and the tension that kept them tense, taunt. She found the gloves just as she kissed under his jaw and Nikolai almost fell apart in her arms. A soft kiss lingered in the space between her mouth and his jaw and the gloves fell away. She laced their fingers together for a moment and then she guided him under her shirt, savouring the way his rough hands felt just right against her skin. Goosebumps spread under his touch as Nikolai relaxed with every passing second and his hands started to explore.

He leaned in and pressed his lips on hers, over and over again. Little soft kisses, her name whispered between each and every kiss. His hands moved up and down her back and before she knew it, her shirt was gone and Nikolai was holding her close, close, close. A gasp escaped her lips when he picked her up and laid her on the bed.

“Alina… I swear…” Nikolai started, the words coming out in raspy breaths, “Saints…” he kissed her belly once, “You’re so beautiful…” he kissed the space between her breasts, “Have I ever told you that?” he kissed the hollow of her throat, “I hope I have…” he kissed her parted lips, from where moans had been spilled and wouldn’t stop spilling, “I hope I have, sunshine. Because you are. You are…” His lips were on hers, burning with passion, burning with that something more, burning through her and deep into her heart.

He hooked his fingers on the waistband of her pants and began pulling them down, underwear and all and soon her clothes were on the floor, left there forgotten for the night. Alina held onto the sheets as Nikolai kissed his way up her leg, kissing every space and crevice he could find, each kiss feeling more and more raw and honest than the previous. Electricity buzzed through her blood, anticipation building up, up, up. And then, just when she thought she might go mad with waiting, Nikolai kissed her right where she most needed. His movements were long and practiced. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it.

“Nikolai…” His name was on her lips, nothing else on her mind as he drove her over the edge with one final flick of his tongue. Her blood sizzled, exploded, burst apart like a new born star as she cried out, her hands steely hooks on the bed. She felt Nikolai moving up her body, his hands barely touching her burning skin, his lips marking a path up, up, up.

Her eyes fluttered shut when he kissed the hollow of her neck, a single kiss that seemed to hold so much, so, so much. Alina wanted to know. She wanted to unwrap the kiss and uncover what every single layer meant, what every breath and heartbeat Nikolai drew meant when he was touching her like this, when he was looking at her like this. It made her heart grow, its cavities barely able to contain everything she was feeling, everything Nikolai made her feel, everything his eyes showed.

Her hands searched and then she was kissing him, fingers tangled in his hair, lips parted as she deepened the kiss. Nikolai eased into her and a moan climbed up her throat, the sound drunk eagerly by the king as he too let out a satisfied sound that made Alina’s skin tingle with excitement. She truly loved to hear Nikolai make all these sounds.

“Alina…” he pressed a line of kisses across her jaw and began moving, taking his time, giving her time. Her name was a constant presence on his lips, entwined with words of beauty and wonder and fascination and saints, she had never felt this much adored ever before in her life. Not even when she was considered a living saint had she felt like this. Was this what being adored truly felt like? Not like some otherworldly thing that could pull miracles at the flick of a finger, but as a person that meant the world to someone, no matter what.

With a rock of his hips, Nikolai pushed into her and a loud, unfiltered moan escaped her lips. Alina moved with him, digging her nails into the toned muscles of his back and let her head fall back as passion built up, as their need for each other grew, as kisses were traded with more and more gasps and moans and unintelligible whispers intertwined between them.

Each kiss dug deeper, each touch sunk deeper, each breath, each heartbeat, each whisper. Everything, everything was fighting for a place within her heart, within its small limits, be it a corner or a room or just a passage and all Alina could feel was that she could very well explode with all of it.

And it wouldn’t matter.

Because this… this was worth it.

“I love you, Alina…” the confession was barely a whisper when it was placed on her heart, long after they were resting. She was drifting into sleep, that damnable ally that seemed so keen on betraying her when it mattered the most. “I love you…”

 

* * *

 

When she woke up, Alina felt both worn to the core and utterly satisfied. Everything in her ached but regret didn’t seem to even show up on the horizon. Her lips tugged up in a smile as she remembered what had happened hours before between her and Nikolai. The dance, the kisses, the touches, everything. It all felt like some wild dream one would go through while under the effects of a crazy fever. But it hadn’t been. It had been real. So, so very real. As real as she was, as real as the presence next to her was.

It was still night, no light whatsoever passing through the old blinds. She shimmied and turned under the blankets until her nose was just a breath away from Nikolai’s. Her heart skittered in place, jumped out of her chest and skipped several beats before she could get a grip on it. Nikolai was looking at her.

His eyes, that beautiful hazel shade almost dark chocolate in the night, watched her through a sleepy haze. He too had woken up recently. A smile was plastered on his lips, _those lips_ , and she quickly found her own mirroring that smile.

She whispered, “Hey…”

“Hey…” Nikolai whispered back. He reached out and tucked a hair behind her ear, his eyes always so focused on her face, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was really happening, as if it was all a dream and it could end any second and all the young king could do was to memorize the moment as best as he could.

“That was nice…” she said, fingers playing on his chest. Butterflies danced in the pit of her stomach. It felt so unreal to be here, like this, with Nikolai. To be naked with him, under the sheets and to be able to touch him in any way she wanted.

His smile turned wolfish, “I’d say that’s an understatement… Sunshine.”

Sunshine.

That was… new.

“Why did you call me that?” she wondered.

Nikolai furrowed his brows, momentarily confused, “You… you don’t like it?” he paused, “I won’t say it again if you—”

“No! No! It’s… I just…” a terribly ill-timed blush coloured her cheeks, it was an awful time to lose her ability to form sentences, “I…” she shrugged, “It’s nice. I like it. I really do! You just never called me that before.”

Just like that, his smile was back, pure and carefree like a child’s, “Oh. All right.” Nikolai played with her hair, “I don’t know. It just came out and I quite liked it.” His eyes found hers and that something was there, in full bloom. Earlier she had wondered what it was, but now… after everything… She knew. It was love. “It suits you.” Nikolai added just as he let his hand wander downwards, his fingertips tracing her spine, spreading goose bumps in their wake. Her whole body was buzzing with his touches and that look of his and the knowledge of his feelings. It had been so long since she’d felt something like this, it almost felt like something new.

Nikolai pressed his lips to her cheek, “Saints, you’re so beautiful, Alina…” and her nose, “So beautiful,” and her forehead, “Just… so beautiful,” and the corner of her lips, “Beautiful…”

Her head was spinning with all the kisses but Alina still managed to roll her eyes at him, poking a finger through his ribs, “Are you really going to repeat yourself over and over again?”

His smirk was borderline insufferable, almost begging for a smack across his head, “I can’t help it, sunshine. It’s not my fault you’re so incredibly beautiful.” She rolled her eyes again and Nikolai continued, his smile growing larger, “I love it when you do that too.” At the glare she shot him, Nikolai tickled her and showered her neck with playful kisses before he continued, his head pressed against hers, “Saints, the amount of times I’ve had to bite my tongue in order not to do something about those…” he mused, eyes shining with mirth.

“Oh? Like what?”

“Like,” his hand moved to the nape of her heard, drawing a soft moan out of her, “this…” and then he was kissing her.

 

* * *

 

The morning after started as soon as the sun rose, but Alina and Nikolai could only leave town after the shops were open. So they spent time in bed, with breakfast and making plans, often interrupting things with kisses and touches. By the time they were back within the thick forest’s limits, the sun was already too high for Alina’s taste. She might have enjoyed the moments of intimacy with Nikolai, their sweetness and peace like a much needed balm, but she had never stopped worrying over their friends.

“You’ll split your lip if you keep on biting it like that.” Nikolai interrupted her thoughts with a nudge on her shoulder. She realised the tension in her jaw and released her lip, the copper taste of blood already on her tongue.

“I’m sorry, I just… I’m really worried about them.”

He nodded, “I know. But worrying won’t help them. And I’m sure they’re fine, they’re soldiers, fighters. They can handle anything.” He was right, the team was composed of the finest soldiers from the former First Army and the finest Grisha they could have spared from Os Alta. Still, Alina couldn’t stop worrying. They had been surprised by an incredibly dangerous storm, if their ship had almost dropped them to their death, it wouldn’t surprise her if other lives had been lost besides the soldier that had been with them.

“I know. But…”

Nikolai nodded again, his eyes full of understanding. Then he laced their fingers and nudged her forward, “We have to keep moving. The meeting point is just a few hours straight in that direction,” he said, glancing at his compass, “We’ll get there soon enough.”

“How can you be sure they’ll be there?”

“They will be.” There was certainty in his voice and Alina welcomed that feeling, wishing her pessimist self would just shut up and let her hope.

She nodded and they continued their path.

A few hours passed by eventless, the two only stopping twice for rest and to eat and drink some water. In spite of the urgency, Alina didn’t stop Nikolai from holding her hand and stealing a kiss during one of their breaks. It was nice to have these small breaks from her worrying mind. After everything she went through, it was hard not to over-worry over her friends’ safety. She’d lost too many people before. Too many…

The forest kept thickening and by the time the sunlight only spilled through occasional cracks in the foliage they were forced to a silent halt.

There were people ahead. And they were still far from the planned meeting point.

Nikolai put a finger on his lips and they crouched behind an ancient fallen tree, its trunk thick enough to hide them. Then he peered over for a brief second, “Mercenaries…” his tone suggested a danger they couldn’t fight, “Four of them.” His eyes were calculative but worried. No doubt he had already thought out all possible ways of getting out of the new situation alive and well. And no doubt he hadn’t gotten that many happy solutions.

Alina whispered, “What do we do?”

He shook his head, “We have to go around. They’re heavily armed, we can’t fight them.”

“What are they doing here?”

“Who knows? These days? Probably hunting Grisha to sell them to the highest bidder.” A chill went down Alina’s spine. She knew very well who the highest bidders would be and Ravka, the one who offered safety, wasn’t on the list. “But if they see us… Well,” he shrugged and a rueful smile played on his lips, “Me. If they see me they’ll have an even more interesting target.” Right, because he was the king of Ravka and everyone thought she was dead. Either way, the king of an enemy country was an even more interesting capture than some random, nameless Grisha. The reward would be enormous. Enough to make them prefer to run the opposite way.

“So we run.” She said, earning a nod in response.

“Silently and as far away from them as possible. Then, we take the long way around.”

They got ready to move when the sound of cracking wood froze them in place. Footsteps. Coming from the exact direction they wanted to avoid. Alina traded a panicked look with Nikolai, they had nowhere to go. All they could do was… not move.

“What are you doing?” a rough voice called, its Fjerdan accent thick all over the Ravkan words.

“None of your business!” the closer voice answered. Alina’s heart stopped beating for a full breath. This was a Ravkan. His accent was polished enough to be from the capital, but roughened enough to tell her this must have been a former soldier. Who would recognize Nikolai in a fraction of a second.

“Don’t go too far! We must get going!”

“Yeah, yeah.” The approaching man answered, not really caring about his companion’s hurry. From the corner of her eye, Alina saw him pass by the tree’s roots and head straight into a high bush. His back to them, the man undid his pants and started peeing, whistling a popular Ravkan song in the process. Nikolai gesture to her, telling her to stay still. Then, he got up and crept up to the mercenary. The task was over before she could blink. One second the whistle was the only sound in the area, the next, the man was lying still on the floor. He’d struggled, his whistle dying on a chocked sound, but Nikolai had the upper hand in the end.

The king stole the only weapon the ex-soldier had and gestured for Alina to move. They sneaked past the unconscious man and retreated through their tracks for a good while before stopping by another fallen tree.

“Won’t they miss him?” Nikolai grimaced with her question. Of course they would.

“We have to run, Alina. They must have found him by now and they’ll be looking for who knocked him out.”

“But where t—” A bullet flew past them, grazing Nikolai’s shoulder just barely. Next thing a bulky man was tackling Nikolai to the ground. They rolled around the ground for a few too long seconds before the king managed to get back on his feet. He tried to get away but his attacker was already on the move.

Alina made to help but just as she was getting up, a pair of hands grabbed her feet and knocked her to the ground. She struggled with the second attacker, his hands a vice grip on her arm, his legs keeping her feet away from him. An arm got loose and she clawed at him, throwing a punch strong enough to have his attention waver for a moment. Alina barely had time to reach for the gun they’d taken from the ex-soldier before her attacker’s attention was back on her. The seconds that followed blurred in her mind, Alina barely registering anything other than her hold on the gun and her will to stay alive.

A gunshot ripped the air in half.

All breath was knocked out of her lungs as the limp form of the mercenary fell on top of her. Alina’s heart hammered against her ribcage, running wild from the fight and the stress of pulling the trigger. She dropped the steaming gun and threw the dead man’s body away from her, scrambling to get away from the growing pool of blood at her feet. Her clothes were splattered with red but Alina paid them no attention as she shoved aside the sight of her dead attacker and looked for Nikolai.

A few meters away from her spot, Nikolai held tight to the other mercenary, his grip hard on the man’s neck. The mercenary knew his time was short and so he kept trying to rip Nikolai’s hands off of his body. When he started to turn blue, Alina knew it was only a matter of seconds before the fight was over. What she didn’t expect, however, was to see a sudden burst of force as the mercenary threw himself back against a tree, promptly knocking out the young king, his lean body falling limp to the ground.

Alina registered a sound scream-like in her ears and only when she was throwing a rock against the mercenary’s head did she notice it was hers. She had screamed. She had screamed and she had hit the man with a rock heavy enough to throw him off his balance and straight into the ground.

Her breathing was ragged, coming out in short and heavy bursts of air as the scene settled around her. One mercenary dead, the other most likely dead as well and to the farthest side of her… Nikolai.

The rock fell on the ground with a pitiful thump when it fell from her fingers, slippery with sweat, as Alina ran to Nikolai’s side. She grabbed his face between her hands and brushed away his hair, “Nikolai?” her voice broke with panic, he wasn’t awake, “Nikolai?” she slapped him softly, trying to wake him up. But no matter how hard she called, no matter how many times she shook him, he still didn’t stir.

“Nikolai!” her vision blurred with unshed tears, her voice growing more desperate, her heart losing sight of how to beat. Her body trembled head to toe with dread, “Nikolai?! Please! Wake up! Please… Nikolai!” a sob climbed up her throat, “Please wake up, Nikolai! I… I love you! Please don’t be dead, I can’t lose you too, not now. Please! I love you…” she dropped her head on his, resting her forehead against his as she kept begging him to wake up, all thoughts of attackers and meeting points and forests gone from her mind. All she cared right now was Nikolai. “Nikolai… I love you…” her words were just a broken whisper now, tears soaking her cheeks.

And then… Nikolai stirred under her touch, “Huh…”

She lifted her head just enough to look him in the eye, searching for his eyes, searching for signs that he would be okay, “Nikolai?”

His eyes fluttered briefly before cracking open. He furrowed his brows as he took in the sight of a tear-streaked Alina, “Alina? What’s wrong?”

A chuckle bubbled out of her throat, mixed with a sob in a pathetic sound as relief washed over her. He was fine. Nikolai was fine.

The king reached up and wiped a tear with his thumb, “I might be mad or have died, because I swear I heard you say you love me.” He paused, deepening his frown, “That can’t be right, can it?” Alina swore this man would die at her hands one day. One moment he made her want to do nothing but hold him and kiss him, the next he made her want to punch him hard enough to leave a month-long mark. At her deadpan look, Nikolai cracked a smirk capable of earning himself a punch, “I knew you couldn’t resist all of this… Ouch!” he yelped when Alina smacked him sideways, “Careful, I almost died right there.” Then, before she could do or say anything else, he pulled her in and placed a feather light kiss on her wet lips, kissing away all her tears, “I love you too, Alina.”

 

* * *

 

The meeting point turned out to be closer than they had expected, the unexpected encounter with the mercenaries having driven them in the right direction. Alina was surprised with a bone-crushing hug from Tolya the second she and Nikolai set foot in the camp. Tamar followed close behind, giving Alina a less bone-crushing hug. The king was greeted with formality before the two Heartrenders shook his hand and whispered words of relief over their safety.

Nikolai gestured to the camp, tents and tables buzzing with life as soldiers busied themselves with the tasks of the day, “Report?”

Tamar saluted and said, “Most of the crew made it to ground in safety. We lost a longboat and everyone in it,” her voice broke then, “But everyone else made it. Some injuries but nothing that we couldn’t fix.” She cleared her throat and paused as another Heartrender passed close by, “We searched the area where most of us fell but when we couldn’t find either of you, we were forced to carry on with the mission.”

Nikolai nodded, “Good. What else can you tell us?” Us. Alina was taken by surprise at that. She understood why she was allowed to hear the report, but to be included like this was… unexpected.

It was Tolya’s turn to speak, “Pardon, moi tsar, but perhaps we shouldn’t be talking out here? We have your tent set up.”

“Yes, might be better.”

Once they were settled inside, the four sitting around a table, Tamar and Tolya continued their report. They had made camp and left some guards behind as the rest of the teams moved inland in search of the Grisha in hiding. What they found was not random pockets of Grisha living in secret.

Alina’s blood froze.

Tamar described what could only be called a prison in open air, the prisoners living in holes in the ground, treated like garbage. It seemed there had been secret villages of Grisha in the area, but mercenaries had taken them by surprise and imprisoned every last one until the highest bidder came claiming. Anger and rage underlined each word the twins exhaled, their professional and cool demeanour lost the second the prison came into the conversation.

The attack was swift. It seemed the monsters running that camp had little organization, their different origins coming between them at the worst of times. Still, it wasn’t exactly easy to take all of them down without any casualties. Some people from both sides and even prisoners were lost, but in the end, the fight was worth it as the Ravkans managed to save almost everyone in there.

“So, where are they now?” Nikolai voiced Alina’s thoughts. Their camp was miniscule when considering how many Grisha they had saved.

Tamar’s smile was nothing but happiness and relief, “Safe. We sent them ahead with a team of our best in the longboats we managed to recover. They must be in the safety of your ship by now, moi tsar. We made sure to follow them until they were nothing but dots in the sky.”

“That’s wonderful! All of them?”

The Heartrender’s smile dropped a bit, “Not all of them. Some preferred to remain incognito and unattached to any country.” She dropped her eyes, “We let them go.”

Nikolai nodded, “Of course.”

“So…” Alina started, “The mission is complete?” she felt a bit silly that in the end all she and Nikolai had done was run through a forest and kiss in an inn. But she was still glad everything had worked out for the best, even if she and Nikolai hadn’t done much in the end.

“Yes,” Tolya answered, “S—Alina.” She almost missed the slip, almost. Even after all this time, the twins still thought of her as a saint. She supposed there was nothing to be done about that.

Nikolai leaned forward, “Don’t worry, Alina. You still kicked those mercenaries’ arses back in the forest.”

She rolled her eyes, “I actually killed them.”

He waved it off, “Same thing.” Then he turned to Tamar and Tolya, “Thank you. You’re dismissed. And please order for things to get packed. We must leave as soon as possible.” The twins nodded in sync and left without another word, Tamar pausing by the tent’s entry to wink at Alina, as if the woman knew more about her adventures than she should. Alina felt her cheeks grow hotter by the second.

“So…” she started, her fingers absentmindedly playing with Nikolai’s gloved hands.

Nikolai laced their hands and pulled her in for a kiss, “So…?”

“Back to Os Alta?”

He nodded, “Yes. Our mission is over. Well, technically we still need to make sure we get home safe, but… Yes.” His smile was dimmed, as if there was still something bothering him.

She asked, “What?”

“What?”

“What’s wrong, Nikolai?" When he didn’t answer, she got up and sat on his lap making sure he couldn’t look away, “Nikolai, I can see something’s bothering you. Tell me.”

He played with the cords of her coat for a moment, “I just…” he sighed, the air coming out slowly as the king stalled in his search for words, “I can’t help but wish all Grisha had accepted our offer.”

A corner of her mouth tilted up, “That’s it? You knew there would always be those that don’t want to pledge loyalty to anyone.”

Hazel eyes looked up, watching her, “I know. I… I was just… hoping,” he shrugged, “that maybe someone among them knew something that could help…” he reached up, glove now gone, and touched her cheek softly, “…you.”

“Me?” for a moment she was confused, but then it hit her, just as did the pain that was such a constant in her life now that sometimes, when the sun was just perfect or when she felt just at that perfect level of happiness, she could actually forget it was there. The stress from the accident, the dangers of the forest and then the moments of pure bliss spent with Nikolai had kept it at bay, but now… surrounded by Grisha and seeing that almost childish hope in his eyes, she couldn’t just forget it. Not that she actually ever did, it was just… dimmed. “I see.” She looked down and focused on the buttons of his jacket, “You… I… Thank you, Nikolai. I… that means a lot.” Her eyes found his and she smiled, making sure he knew she meant it, “But you don’t need to feel bad for not finding anything. Not now, not ever. Okay?” she waited until he nodded before leaning in and capturing his lips with hers, dragging the two into a moment of bliss, however brief.

Nikolai broke the kiss, his exposted hand holding her neck, thumb playing with her skin, “But I’ll still keep looking, just so you know.”

She rolled her eyes, trying to feign faint disinterest, although it warmed her whole body to hear those words.

“Now…” he placed a teasing kiss on the corner of her lips, “Os Alta.”

She leaned in, going after the tease, “Yeah?”

His stupid lips stayed at bay, only teasing her everywhere but her own lips, “Me…” a peck on her jaw, “…and you?” a graze on her lower lip, “Together?” his lips on her pulse, where her blood seemed to drum as loud as a bomb.

Together. She knew what he meant with that. As his lips kept exploring her skin and his hands remained as respectful as the location and company begged for, Alina thought hard on the unvoiced question. She loved him; that much was true. And she wanted to be with him. She just… wasn’t sure the court was the right place for her. And would someone that didn’t fit in the court be a worthy queen of Ravka?

“The court, Nikolai…”

He paused his kisses, “You’ll do fine. Better, actually. With such a strong personality as yours? And your ability to give lip whenever and wherever?” A chuckle shook him a little, “You’ll have them bowing at your sight in no time.”

She rolled her eyes, “I have no idea how to behave in court, though. And I’m just… Alina, now.”

His eyes turned serious, “I’ll help you with court. And you are enough. More than any of us will ever be worthy, to be quite honest. Alina…” His voice grew softer, “Forgive me for this, but I’m certain you’re the kind of queen Ravka needs right now. You love it, but have no time or patience for silliness or rich people’s problems.”

“Is that all?” She rasped, overwhelmed by his faith on her.

A roguish smirk grew on his lips, perfect teeth flashing in the process, “Oh no, the biggest reason is that I love you so much it feels like I’m walking on air. But I’m sugar-coating it all with my typical politician speech. Is it working?” He poked her ribs and drew a soft yelp out of her.

“I don’t know. Will you court me properly?” She played hard to get, finding it incredibly hard to not smile.

Nikolai brushed his knuckles over her cheek, “Oh, I intend on doing everything to get you to say yes. Now that I know how you feel…” He leaned in to place a soft kiss on her smiling lips, “Nothing will stop me from marrying you. Unless,” He paused, halfway to another kiss, “You don’t plan on ever saying yes…?”

She rolled her eyes, “Please, what about ‘will you court me properly?’ speaks of me saying no?”

“Forgive me for playing safe, but you don’t have a history of ever saying yes or no to me. Always tricky answers, always playing with my poor little heart, sunshine.”

Alina rolled her eyes yet again, wondering just how many times she could do that before losing meaning, “You’re the one that taught me too well, remember?”

“Yes, alas… I am too good a teacher.” Nikolai sighed dramatically, his smirking lips betraying his words.

Alina leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder, her heart fluttering with happiness, “Fine, I’ll spoil the surprise. I’ll say yes, Nikolai. But only after you’ve courted me properly.”

Nikolai’s arms around her tightened for a brief moment, “Oh, I see. Clever Alina already planning to play the court…” He tsked, “And you were saying you needed help with it. You’re already making clever plans to trick them.”

“Oh, shut up. What would anyone say if you and I married all of the sudden?”

“That love isn’t dead yet. That Ravka is at last ruled by a king and a queen that love each other dearly. Oh, the list is long. It includes several songs written about our love and many babies named after us.”

“You’re so dramatic.” She scoffed, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of his extremely long sentence.

“Perhaps. I do have to say this, I love your plan a little more. It gives me at least a little more time to romance you.”

Laughter bubbled out of her, “Romance me?”

Nikolai hummed, “Yes. Romance you. I assure you, my love, when I court…” He let out a sigh, “If you’re not completely and overwhelmingly in love with my yet, sunshine… By then you will be.”

“Oh my saints! Nikolai, you’re so dramatic!” She exclaimed, looking up from his shoulder. His smile was brilliant and insufferable, somehow. She shook her head, “Oh, whatever. Just kiss me and take me home, you idiot.”

Nikolai cupped her cheek, “As you wish, my sweet Alina.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is another one I had slightly forgotten about x) I hadn't really forgotten, but got stuck in the final paragraphs and took a rather long break, ooops?
> 
> but it is here AT LAST!! Hope you guys like it, I love it very much x3
> 
>  
> 
> feedback/comments/fangirling might help my memory work better next time!


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